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What to Watch 2005-06-23

If it's Thursday it must be Lost at 8:30pm (ish) on Seven. For those still keeping count tonight it's episode 18.

Other than that we've got the usual Thursday slim pickings. About the only point of interest is that Paul "Fatty" Vautin apparently hurt himself earlier this week and speculation is rampant about who will take his place on the Footy Show panel. Smart money is not on Rebecca Wilson. Whispers do reach us that we may be treated to something truly surreal as Clive James is in town and may have been spotted hanging around Nine's studios in Willoughby. I may risk a five second peak tonight after 9:30pm just to see if the rumour's true.

What to Watch 2005-06-21

For this the shortest day in the Southern hemisphere and the longest in the Northern may I recommend;

• The British and Irish Lions v Southland on Fox Sports 2 from 5pm. Luckily we've got TVs at work so I can watch the kick off before heading home.
• At 8pm on Nine they are showing a two and a half year old episode of Frasier for the first time. Shame on you Packer family. Luckily it's a corker.
• Whilst it pains me to suggest you watch Rove Live on Ten at 9:30pm he does have Clive James on. Here's hoping he can inject some much needed gravitas to the show.
• If you can't bring yourself to lower your standards to watch Australia's favourite evening talk show may I suggest you indulge in some fine music television instead? Over on Max at 9:30pm they're showing Later with Jools Holland. Sweet.

Do not, whatever you do, watch Boston Legal on Seven at 9:30pm. This world needs another show about quirky lawyers in Boston about as much as it needs a hole in the ozone layer. David E Kelley should not get even another minute of any of his programmes shown. Anywhere. Ever.

Ciaran: Mind you Boston Legal does have Captain Kirk on it. I can see it now.. "Must....get....deposition.....to.....judge" or "Damn it man I'm a lawyer not a doctor !!"

What to Watch 2005-06-20

Tonight I will be mostly watching.

Mythbusters on SBS @ 7:30pm. Science made explosive.

Followed by Pizza and Chapelles Show still on SBS ( 8:30 pm and 9 pm )

You can also watch the Daily Telegraph's favourite whipping boy show Big Brother @ 9:40pm
followed by Men Behaving Badly on UKTV @ 11pm ( just to follow the trend ).

Enjoy

Andy: Some comments on Ciaran's work;

1. It's Big Brother Uncut on Ten at 9:40pm. Watch out, there may be semi naked people rubbing against each other. Jeez, this is what television has come to? I'm glad I'm going out tonight.
2. Chappelles Show is not funny.
3. Neither is Pizza, really.

What to Watch 2005-06-18

Tonight another easy one. Dr Who at 7:30pm on ABC. Followed by a nice short episode of Little Britain on ABC.

Then at 8:30 pm switch to SBS to catch Iron Chef. Maybe play a game of Iron Chef Bingo.

The rest of the night is your own.

What to Watch 2005-06-17

Wow, Friday seems to be the day for TV. A lot of good stuff to catch tonight.

So starting with Regency House Party on Lifestyle @ 8:30 PM. For those of you who missed this the first time, think Big Brother set in the 1800's. Guy's drink and shoot and generally lay about, girls sit in the house and wait for the guys to come back. Classic.

Next we have South Park on Comedy Channel +2 @ 8:30 PM. OK let me just point out that this is perhaps the only South Park episode I watched with face set to stun. I still don't know why they let this one go to air.

Moving on we have Wire in the Blood on UKTV @ 9:30 PM. This is what Law and Order and all those other shows want to be when they grow up. Simply the best in TV murder mystery larks.

Finally what would this list be without mentioning Roy and HG on Auntie @ 9:45 PM. So a round up of sport, and a demonstration of Aussie humour it is a must watch.

Exciting Times

Things are a moving and a shaking in these parts. I'm going to be fiddling around with technology for the next couple of days so Ciaran will be taking up my posting slack.

Meanwhile keep your eyes peeled for an announcement next week which should rock your blogging world. Or not, it's up to you really.

What to Watch 2005-06-16

Tonight it's hard to go past Lost on Seven at 8:30pm (or 8:39pm if they pull their usual trick of overrunning programmes to stop you switching sides). For those not keeping count tonight it's episode 17.

Interesting Lost news this week is that apparently there are a number of sort of official spoof web sites on this here internet which allow people with too much time on their hands to find items of trivia about their favourite castaway show. Which is nice because it at least keeps them away from the dating sites on the web.

Other than that there really is very little on. I shall be watching a video of yesterday's Lions v Wellington match.

What to Watch 2005-06-15

Tonight you've got two quality shows to look forward to. Possibly the finest sitcom doing the rounds (now that Frasier has finished) - Black Books returns to the ABC tonight at 9pm. Like all truly great comedies it has at its heart a monster.

In this case an anti-social, lazy, good for nothing, red wine glugging bookseller called Bernard (Dylan Moran). A character we can only aspire to be like. The support comes from a couple of fine comedy actors with Bill Bailey playing Manny and Tamsin Greig as Fran.

Which leads me to our second recommendation of the evening - you can catch Tamsin again (this time playing Dr Caroline Todd - great surname that) in Green Wing at 9:30pm on UK TV. Best described as League of Gentlemen meets Holby City, it's a very dark comedy set in a hospital where all of the staff have personality quirks that are best described as "interesting". If that wasn't enough temptation it also stars Sarah Alexander who we last saw in Coupling.

One definitely not to watch tonight is State of Origin 2 from what used to be called the Olympic Stadium in Sydney. Not least because Phil Gould will be on the commentary team somewhere and we can't stand the sight of him.

What to Watch 2005-06-14

OK, pretty poor TV on tonight. I suggest spending time with your loved ones.

If that isn't to your taste, here are some suggestions to try.

Enter the crazy world of Cat People at 8:00 pm on ABC. (this is for people who loved Best of Show, one of my favourites). For the others, you could always tune into the Simpsons 7:30pm - 8:30 pm on 10, even if they are only repeats :(

Footy fans can catch the 25 Years of Origin special on Nine at 9:30 pm.

Andy: Do not watch the origin show. It will be tut. I've also graciously fixed (some of) your grammar and punctuation.

What to Watch 2005-06-13

Ciaran was in charge of recommendations for Monday. As you can see he was asleep at the wheel and forgot to even put up a token post. Here's hoping he does a better job for Tuesday.

What to Watch 2005-06-12

Today on UK TV they've got a bit of a Hornblower-fest. If nautical shenanigans aren't your cup of tea then there's always Billy Connolly's world tour of sheep land on Seven at 9:30pm. Although I do have to agree with the reviewer who says that the stand-up clips aren't his best work.

Shows to avoid include the Newlyweds on Ten at 6:30pm (she's dumb as a box of spanners, he likes hanging around with his mates), the Commander on ABC at 8:30pm (it's written by Lynda La Plante - enough said) and Australia's Guinnes World Records on Seven at 6:30pm (I'll leave the explanation, if one is needed, of why it's rubbish to my blog buddy).

What to Watch 2005-06-11

If it's Saturday then it must be Doctor Who at 7:30pm on the ABC.

Although I'd also like to put in a bid for Iron Chef at 8:30pm on SBS.

For the sporting fan there's a feast of Rugby on today. At 3pm on Seven there is Australia v Samoa and at 5pm on Fox Sports 2 they are showing The British and Irish Lions v NZ Maori.

Ciaran: Update. Iron Chef Loses to challenger. What a battle !!

An Apology

I'm sorry. I'm really, really, sorry.

Last night I watched the Footy Show.

It's the one thing that does make me a bad person, and I'll be repenting for the rest of my days.

In their defence, there was some actual discussion of rugby league, although once more Gus Gould did a piece to camera about the delights of State of Origin that completely passed me by. I dissemble, it was pants. Really, really, cringe inducing. At any moment I expected him to stand up, put his hand on his heart and start talking about Gallipoli and the ANZAC spirit whilst the tune of Advance Australia Fair kicked off in the background.

The absolute pinnacle of the show came at about 11 o'clock. As I was pottering around preparing to go to bed I noticed that they had a band on, doing a particularly awful song. As I paid a bit more attention the full horror hit me. There was a female lead singer doing a particularly poor Bonnie Tyler impression belting out some truly awful words to a generic 12 bar rock tune. The chorus was (and I'm not making this up); "State of mind, State of play, State of origin"

Deary, deary me.

What to Watch 2005-06-09

It's pretty slim pickings tonight. Something of a cop out, but the show of the night is (apparently) the most popular thing on Australian TV - Lost. For those keeping count tonight is episode 16.

If you're not feeling quite so mainstream there's always "Crazy About Cheese" on the Lifestyle Food channel at 9:30pm. Who wouldn't want to watch a half hour show all about cheese? And why doesn't the show title end in an exclamation mark?

What to Watch 2005-06-08

Top tip for tonight. Spicks and Specks on the ABC at 8:30pm. Nice mix of trivia and music, in that strange no-one wins sort of way. Also if you are up for it there is the crazy anime One Piece on Cartoon Network at 9:30 pm.

Andy: If it's Wednesday it must be Teachers at 9:30pm on UKTV. You know it makes sense.

What The?

There really was nothing on last night. So whilst I was doing my chores I had the TV on and it was tuned to Ten and along came our old friend Rove. I didn't watch it, honest, but by osmosis I managed a couple of pithy insights;

1. Judith Lucy bears more than a passing resemblance to Sir Les Patterson. Sadly her comedy isn't quite up to his standards.
2. The nice people at Pyrmont are going to be showing House, which looks rather good. Apparently it's been renewed for a second season so the seppos must like it. Let's just hope that it doesn't suffer from Australian network random scheduling and end up being shown at two o'clock on Wednesday mornings.
3. Ten have also snaffled up the rights to the US version of The Office. I confidently predict that this will sink like a stone on the yoof network.

Yes, I was paying more attention during the ad breaks than during the actual show. That doesn't make me a bad person.

Someone must be reading this .

News just in. Channel 7 have cancelled Let Loose Live, after two shows.

I told you sketch comedy on Australia was doomed.

Andy. It's breaking news over at news.com.au. Good riddance to bad rubbish I say.

What to Watch 2005-06-07

I've just looked at tonight's listings, and I'm sorry to say this dear readers but we're doomed.

Seriously, there is nothing worth watching on the television tonight. I shall have to resort to surfing the internet. Failing that I may possibly even talk to my family.

What to Watch 2005-06-06

As requested by Emma at lunchtime, here is our guide to what's good on TV tonight. If we can be arsed (and remember) this will be a regular feature. Come back at this time every day for top viewing tips.

Today we've got a timing clash. At 9:40 on Seven we've got their heavily promoted new "character driven" drama Last Man Standing. Which looks like it could be quite good, although knowing the nice people from Epping it may well jump the shark before the end credits roll. Worth a look see though.

Meanwhile over in pay TV land we've got a trouser trembling trifecta of comedy goodness.

At 9 on UKTV we've got the first series of Swiss Toni. Doctor Who fans will be pleased to note that tonight's episode features Tom Baker in what can only be described as a tour de force cameo. Oh, and watch out for the midgets. This is followed by Bedtime written by a genius and starring some of the finest actors to grace a TV screen. Then , as if you need any more excitement, we've got Paul Whitehouse's bittersweet sitcom Happiness.

If you still want more, at 10:30 and still on UK TV you can enjoy some trouser snorting action in Dish and Dishonesty. "Because when I was younger we used to line two or three of your sort up in a line, bend them over and use them as a toat rack". It's a shame I'm going out because this is a recipe for a great evening in.

Must See TV

OK, I was a bit skeptical but I did watch the ABC's presentation of The Real DaVinci Code . Luckily I was rewarded by this excellent BBC Doco. OK Here it is. All you people who read the Dan Brown book/s and keep telling me they are "true" should have watched this doco.

Tony Robinson ( who played Baldrick ), managed in a 1 hour show to completely rip to shreds, the supposedly "well researched" theories used in the Dan Brown book.

They also interviewed the authors of The Holy Blood, Holy Grail who quite frankly came off as a little obsessive.

Well done all.

It's Dead.... stop trying to ride it.

This may make a few people argue but here it is. Australian Sketch Comedy on any commercial network is dead. As a dodo.

Look we all enjoyed The Comedy Company, and Fast Forward when it was in its hey day, but its over. I can't understand why the commercial networks won't let it go. Take this for example. For God's sake, can't we let these guys retire. I mean Peter Moon for god's sake. The man was last funny in 1990. Stop making shows with him in it. I mean it.

As for Channel 9. Letting the Comedy Inc guys have another show. I think Derryn said it best.
Plus I am also still angry with Channel 9 screwing up the chance they had with Shaun Micallef.

Shame, Shame, Shame.

Andy: Couldn't agree more old chap. Mind you, I've not watched much sketch comedy since A Bit of Fry and Laurie. Supey Twist.

Continuity Problems

Following on from Charles' exposition on Revenge of the Toss did anyone else watch Las Vegas last night on Channel 7?

We were treated to episode one of season two (as if we cared) where Josh Duhamel's character "returns from the war". What stretched the show's already quite weak credibility for me was that we were expected to believe that this bloke works in the security section of a Las Vegas hotel but then occasionally swans off on missions for a mystery spy organisation. As if. And I'm not even going to start on the ridiculous bit where they identified the serial number of a chip implanted in someone's arm by infa red and then searched the "magic" database to find out what it did.

So Danny returns from his mission with post traumatic stress disorder. This manifests as more than the usual amount of strutting around and acting all moody. Perhaps Hayden Christiansen could take acting lessons from him.

Now I'll willingly suspend disbelief whilst watching network television but this just went too far. Sadly I'll probably tune in again next week as the alternatives are Getaway on Nine (no money = no holidays), or Everybody Loves Raymond on Ten (dear god, does that show never end?). Although a thought has just struck me, maybe I should explore the delight that is Foxtel on a Thursday night. You never know, they might have bought the cheese show back.

Beyond.... Whatever

Channel 7, in their quest to provide only lifestyle programs, and not actual entertainment, this week played their new science program Beyond Tomorrow.

As if being a pale imitation of the great Beyond 2000 from the eighties (maybe some rose coloured glasses her) wasn't enough. It was hosted by Matt Shirvington. The fastest White man alive. Enough said. When was it acceptable to host a science show with someone who actually doesn't know anything about science.

The show was moving along in an OK way until they decided to totally rip off the boys from Mythbusters. Now I know that Beyond distribute the show in Australia, but to refer to them throughout the show as the Beyond Tomorrow Mythbusters without actually mentioning that the show isn't actually made by them was rudeness at it height. I mean does channel Seven think that nobody watches SBS?

Good lord.

Andy: Just a little note to mention that I'll be acting as the grammar (and spelling) police around here. I've tidied up Ciaran's post for him and hopefully improved the readability. Do not adjust your sets if posts from this blog appear in your aggregator more than once.

P.S. the only shows people watch on SBS are Iron Chef and South Park. I believe that some people tune in for the "soccer" (*cough* football *cough*) but it will never catch on.

Hello, Good Evening and Welcome

Since we spend so much time discussing television my colleague and I came to the conclusion that it was criminal not to share our insights with the world.

So here we are. Everything's fair game, from Rove's (alleged) gags to the delight that is Mike Gibson's haircut to the fact that the only decent news analysis show comes on just when I want to go to bed.

I'll start with this little tit-bit, according to the SMH last Saturday's live broadcast of the Sydney Swans match was out rated by a repeat of Iron Chef. Mind you, who wants to watch a bunch of boof heads running around in tight shorts when on the other side you're treated to the delights of "Tuna Battle!"